Apologizing to my Kids

I’m going to admit something that I’m not proud of… I’m not good at apologizing to my kids. For some, I know it comes easy, but it’s something I’ve struggled with as a parent. 😞

All my kiddos have grown up hearing that it’s ok to make mistakes – that’s how we grow and learn. They know we say we are sorry when we have hurt one another, physically or emotionally, and reconcile our hearts with God. And they have heard both of us say that their parents are not perfect people, plagued by the same original sin that affects us all. 

But my pride and stubbornness stand in the way. I think part of me thinks if I apologize, I’m conceding. They’ll think me weak and will take advantage of me later. I want them to know that “mama knows best”. I know, I hear it; this is nonsense. 

Last week, my daughter and I were working on a 2nd grade math assignment during our homeschooling and I quickly lost my patience as she really struggled with a concept I believed she should’ve mastered in Kindergarten. I yelled; she cried. It did not go well. I sat in my own corner, guilt-stricken, and God softened my heart. (But not before the heavens parted, and heard him say, “Girrrrrl!?” 🧐)

I knew I had to reach out to my daughter in a way that seemed so simple, but it was a humbling mountain to climb for me. I wrote her a note. {She savors “mail” like gold.} I poured out my heart, thanked her for who she is, and apologized. 

She read it the next morning with a huge smile on her face and declared, “I forgive you, Mommy!” 💜 

I’m constantly asking my Heavenly Father for His forgiveness; I need to remind myself that the forgiveness of my children is powerful. If His mercy is abounding, shouldn’t I want that for myself and my kids (and better yet, model it!?)?  It requires me to push aside my stubbornness, my desire to appear “correct”, and have faith like a little child – faith that they will continue to love me, respect me, and more importantly, see me following Jesus’ teachings. 

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)